Thursday, December 29, 2011

Year End


At the end of each year magazines and new stations across the globe like to mark some of the great moments in 2011 (or whatever year it is!)
This year we settled into our new home, moving in in Dec. of 2010.
We then proceeded to have our second son, Benjamin Marcus Wilkins, at 7lbs 14 oz.
 Caleb, our oldest, wasn't really impressed with the new arrival and has only recently begun to accept his presence.

In the spring I was excited to be accepted as staff at Youth For Christ in Wingham and then proceeded to start fundraising. I would in December of 2011 finally be titled as hired and ready to start work Jan. 2nd 2012.

Our summer was filled with youth nights and a trip to African Lions Safari. I had a couple wedding photo jobs and some family gatherings as is the usual on the Wilkins side.

Somewhere over the summer Caleb lost his baby look and adopted his little kid look. Ben began to crawl quickly and motor around.

In June my dad passed away. Rick Bell. He was 53 I think.....
I didn't really realize it at the time that he was gone. I saw him in the casket, and I had a time of tears. But at each holiday passes it settles in how wide the cavern of death keeps us apart.

I read Isaiah again. But God told me to slow down and not eat my food so fast. So I did. And now I know why the Israelites disliked the Ninivites in Jonah on Veggie Tales. I also fell in love with John 1:5 "There is a light in the darkness. And the darkness can never extinguish it!".

Fall was quite mostly. Harvest time for Tim. And he got his AZ-R.

Now its the end of Dec. I was blessed with family and friends this season. I think often of our youth kids just as if they were our own. I think of my dad with grief. I look forward to 2012 working at the youth center. And again keeping to an old resolution NOT to make any more resolutions on New Years....I stand firm! :)

Happy New Year

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Don't label Him.

Distressed, I wonder what is wrong. I wish I knew. I worry that its something I've done..have I been too impatient. Too demanding. Too leaneant?
My son is angered by so many things. The wheel on his tractor won't roll right. His brother picked up his toy. We have people over. Almost anything may set him off some days. His tantrums are fits of flails and him purposely hitting his head on the floor or really anything, including us.
I first began with me. What have I done? What did I do that made him like this? When I calmed every piece of my being in working with him he still lashed out and I am exhausted.
Why do I write this. At least why publicly? Well its real. Its not just a simple walk away kind of child. He will tantrum whether I'm there or not. Whether I come see or leave him be.
I looked to writings and found a simple but complex explanation...
The title was "The sensitive Toddler". Written on Going on to describe a chile that struggles with everyday things. I read and felt that yes, in an extreme sense this describes him.
But it absolutely scares me. It said that if it was beyond this point or that point to have it checked out and every part of me holds back because quite frankly, I just don't want my child to have a title.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Shut in.

Dig Snow

Sometimes I feel like a bit of a shut in. Well...a lot like a shut in. Since my second son was born last February we've been moving through all those stages and finally are arriving on him almost walking.
A friend of mine had two boys almost the same amount of time appart as mine. When I met her she was adjusting to going out with two boys. And I only had my oldest at that time. I remember thinking..what's the big deal. Wrap em up and out we go!

But not now...nope. Wrap up two boys with different nap times and food requirements and movement abilities. In the day I have two windows of time consisting of 2 hours to go outside.Sometimes only one. Going outside means getting two squirming kids into snowsuits. One can't walk yet but crawls away when I'm ready to go.
Once outside they don't play together so I'm left chasing two kids. One who doesn't want to be left alone but can't walk after me.
Finally. When the youngest gets cold first the oldest doesn't want to come in and throws a tantrum out on the street. limbs and head flailing for all the neighbors to see. And he's too young to just leave out on his own. He'd just walk into the street.

So a year....out in the summer on the grass but this cold weather has been killing us. We go out when one is down but sometimes on grumpy days we may not go out at all....

A shut in...

So glad my youngest is learning to walk....
its all a stage...