Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Self

 Is someone allowed to inconvience you? I hate when people do. When my kids get up earlier than I want to get up. When they cry and I have to pick them up for the hundreth time. When people ask me to change my scheduel or my hair is deciding to make its own style for the day.
I rarley if ever allow God to inconvience me. Its not good I know. I make quiet time when I'm ready. I sit with my bible and read and pray and then expect him to jump to attention. And as I somberly drift away in my thoughts onto some chore that I need to do, I expect him to understand that I'm done with our quiet time.

I can't think of the last time I let God inconvience me. When his work or words or time intruded on my time and I said "yes..." .

I think sometimes that I may be an exceptionally selfish individual because deep down inside my scheduel is primary. And God's is changeable. Really it should be the other way around.

He is so patient...
I feel like a child when in comparison. When I think of my maturity towards situations and relationships. It may take me my whole life to grow up. And even then he'll still be more.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Thanksgiving weekend

We made it through Thanksgiving. I thought I would hate it all to be truthful. With two kids ages 2 and 8 months I am on constant alert for the next tempertantrum red signs or on the look out for the next Tim Horton's so I can get a cup of hot water to warm a bottle.

But it was great. Like really great. This second or third year at it was almost enjoyable!

At my brothers my son disapeared into the basement with the other kids and I barely saw him all evening except for supper where he mimicked his older cousin with every action. He was so hyper and high on life I dreaded leaving thinking of the tantrum that would ensue. However, nothing. His cousin lead him out to the car and his other cousin, a sweet little girl, pasted him with hugs and kisses to say bye.

I loved the moment and wished all our holidays could be like that.

At our second location my oldest found delight in running up and down a ramp and stairs outside. Came in to eat and right back out. One trantrum was minor and short lived and then to the swings and extremly old teeter-totter. One apparently his dad had been on when he was a child.



Thursday, October 6, 2011

 Random wallpapers - random wallpaper

The moment I think I know him he amazes me . I thought for a mere second that I had my head around God. That I finally "got it". And there he went, showing me how much bigger than my brain he is.

I wanted to give the Holy Spirit room to move and work. There had been a worship session done a few months ago at church in the evening where it included music and prayer and the Spirit having the freedom to move. Just a sense of no agenda.

So I thought..Again! we need that again! no structure! no agenda!. And then my husband bats that out of the field with...."well if your doing the same thing twice hoping to get a random worship session of unplanned, no agenda. You are making it planned by planning it. You are scheduling it hoping for the same action of randomness. "

And I was....

I wanted the very same great experience of the Holy Spirit working on me as it had then. And it wasn't possible. Because I loved how we weren't told to sit and to stand. To be praising or in prayer. It was just arriving that made it great. Arriving with no agenda. But to do it twice suddenly starts an agenda...
I wanted God to come close like he had then. But I'm not who I was then, even if it was a few months ago.

We have so many "traditions" these days. Church every Sunday. In a building. With music, then prayer, then preaching then prayer then music then coffee.
But how many "traditions" does God have in the bible. Some festivals in the year. And communion.
When did we box God up? Stifle him into a building and brick him in? When did we put a sheet of agenda in front of him and say..meet us on Sunday at this time and this place.
I want to unbox him and throw away that sheet and say "God, tell me where to meet you! What do you have in store ? What will we do with you today?"