Tuesday, June 28, 2011



Rick Bell was a father. A husband. A brother. A son.
A provider. A protector A Step dad. And a Grandpa
He was a gift giver. a smiler. A teacher. An Uncle. And a snorer.
He was a friend, a mentor. And a man who folded clothing much too neatly.
An encourager. Advice giver. A dreamer and adventurer.
A truck driver. A beer drinker, a teller of bad jokes and a afternoon napper on occasion.
Small footed. Horse loving, talker. And observer.
A teller of life stories…over and over… and over. A man full of great memories.
A leader, A man. And a child of God.
Rick Bell was and is loved.

Brian and Shannon's Wedding
Our meeting last week. He got to play with Caleb and Sylvia cuddled Benjamin. Great memory.
My wedding day.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

This is how I mourn.

This is my way of mourning. I write. Its the way I empty it out and gather it up and empty it out again.
For those who may not know my dad, Rick passed away this weekend. Between the waves of emotion I started to understand why David, when he lost his son from Bathsheba, got up from mourning and began to praise God. 
Sometimes, when it hurts like a freight train. That's it. That's all there is is Him. Nothing can fill that void. But how amazing is the reassurance of his saving grace. A bitter sweetness.
As I go through this time and gather the memories together I have. I find such hope in my Lord. I can not go where he has gone right now but my Lord is there with him. Him and his TWo legs. 
What a beautiful picture I have settled in of him, tossing of the weight of those crutches and walking with Jesus.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Faith Camping 2011

 Cartoons Wallpaper: Snoopy Camping

Well I've been given my husbands blessing on my new adventure. 3 days in the wilderness of the bruce trail with no food except what I fish or find or catch or schmoose out of some kindly campers.
What are you doing? you may ask?
A faith trip. A time for me to rely on God's provision. And maybe God will provide no food. Or maybe I'm going to be blogging the most awesomest trip ever! 

Where did I ever come up with such an idea. Well!
I always had this inner child dream of just setting off for a weekend. Actually when I was a teen I thought it'd be cool to go for a summer. Just hit the road. What's on your back kinda adventure. Now that I serve God there is this other story I read a while back of a missionary learning about "faith in God". So the college he's at makes teams go out, complete a task that they have nothing to complete with, and return back to the college a few days later. And the story ends that God provided everything is really cool ways. Just to note at this point is that, God didn't have to. It wasn't life or death or anything like that. But He took the opportunity given to Him to stretch a servants faith.
I too want to give God the opportunity to stretch my faith and give me some time in the woods for time to just listen to Him. 
So, 3 days on the trails. no food, but i'll have a fishing rod. Aqua pills to clean the water and a filter bag. tarp, blanket,hammok. All need to be easily packed as I'll be carrying them. 
My biggest fear is not wild animals or breaking my leg and laying somewhere for dead. My biggest fear is the dark. Yep. Like a little child. The dark still gets me. 

A hand of light  in the dark 
But I've loved a verse I've learned lately from John 1:5
"There is a light in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it."

Friday, June 17, 2011

Making lite of the moment.

Breath...just breath....

I had to blog this crazy moment in life. Its a kids moment so if you don't need to hear a rant than please, move along, there is nothing to see here.

I'm at that point with Ben where you question..is your teeth coming in? tired? food? NOTHING makes him happy. Insanity has set in. I remember before this is where we had a few more dates nights so I could get out and away for a bit.
I think this is also when I had to just lay Caleb down and let him cry to sleep. Ben now won't stop himself but wants to stay up as long as possible.
Perhaps I'll sell myself to the circus. I think I'd go for a good price. I could do trapezes or something like that.

Caleb in the other corner is being ignored because Ben needs so much attention. So his way of getting attention is taking my plants out of their dirt. Or saving the dirt from the invasion of roots! Quickly dirt! get out! get out!!!

But its only a week or maybe even a couple days. A phase of their life that seems like forever when your an adult. And its hard to remember that teething is harder on the baby than it is on the adult at 4 am which they scream their head off.

One moment please. One moment to breath. To have some silence. Just a moment to stop and drink my coffee.  One simple moment.

It'll pass. It always does.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Move it out!

 demotivational posters - HOARDING

Out with the extra toys
out with the extra clothes
out with the unread books 
out with every little piece of shirt and pants I've been holding onto that I think may one day fit! Perhaps it will. But it will sorely be out of style by then!
I'm getting rid of old run down furniture that has no spot in our home. And Ben won't have a chance to not play with the toys that Caleb didn't play with.
I've gone www.freecycle.org crazy. I post it and other people come pick it up and use it. I love it.
Going through the boys stuff in the last few days has been awesome. They have piles of stuff they'll never use. My husband was already stripped of his belongings when we married. I love him for it too. 
I'm being the opposite of a hoarder. whatever that is.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Goodbye Shepski's *satire*

My friend moved away today. Yup. Got in her car with her husband and two kids and left town like some cheesy old western. But lacking the horse and instead driving a toyota mini van.
Its Monday and usually we share coffee on mondays. We had starting having weekly "business meetings" just to drink coffee.
She wasn't too bad of a friend. She had good fashion sense but I was clearly more humble than her. What can I say. Humility like mine is hard to find. 
I hope that where she's going someone will like her. Poor girl, I really just took her under my wing. 
Its a good thing she knew me in this last little while. I mean, how could she manage? I must have been such a ray of sunshine in her life. 

Oh don't cry for me Argentina...or whatever. I've moved on to other coffee pushers. Yes. humble people like me are welcome in many places. 
I hope, you and little kipper find a cozy corner of the world to call your own. And that one day you'll look back and think fondly of our time together. And wish you could be as humble and gracious as I. 

Really. Don't worry your self.
That'll never happen.