Make me small again.

This is where Ben sits when he is being fed. Recently I've found Caleb getting ready for meal time by crawling up into the seat.

He stands at the top of the stairs with his arms outstretched towards me. I want to grab him and carry him every time, but I have to encourage him to grow and be challenged. I can not carry him when he is 20. And he is very able to go down the stairs safely on his very own. But still the sight of a nearly 2 year old with his arms towards mom is heart wrenching to walk away from and say "you can do it. I know you can. I've seen you do it before."

He wants so much to be the centre of my attention again. Like what is was before Ben came into our lives. He wants the number one spot. But what he doesn't understand as he grabs for my attention is there is no ranking system to a parent. All their children are loved the same.

To one you may relate better. Perhaps have more in common. But never do you love one over the other. Its just impossible. 

But I love to how he loves Ben. He is so fascinated with the fact that he isn't the smallest in the house any more. He's bigger. At least bigger than Ben. And he helps him and brings him things and entertains him. I hope they are the best of friends as they grow up.