Thursday, July 7, 2011

Mourning for Dummies


Step One:
Someone needs to pass away. If this doesn't happen you'll be a rather odd person for the next few stages. Or just a dark individual.

Step two:
Attend a wake. Shake a lot of hands of people you don't know. Take in their offer of "condolance" because they don't know what else to say. And offer up your "thank you for coming" because your more than obviously confused about who they are and if their even at the right wake!

Step three:
Attend a funeral. Don't stare at the coffin. Bring Kleenexes for the person beside you, who you probably won't know. And wonder if your at the right funeral. Don't pull a Mr. Bean like I did and sing the wrong chorus loudly. Keep with the group and don't be noticed!

Step four:
Return to normal life and try to act like its all normal.

Step five.
Because no one really wants the long end of the story. Post a picture on facebook as a profile pic. Try to avoid anything with clowns. That just drops into a creepy aspect that could get you put away to a fourth floor. Keep to fuzzy bunnies or storm clouds.

Step six.
write a journal. Even if you plan to throw it out after. You'll need it for junk that runs through your head. If you don't get it out here you'll try stopping people randomly to tell them your story. And it'll probably make them uncomfortable. At least a wee bit.

Step seven.

Forgive. But lets face it. Any argument you have now is just one sided.

Step eight.
Finally. Unfriend the person on fb. They've moved on. So should you.

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