Thursday, September 23, 2010

My wife is pregnant and yelling...what do I do?

One moment your coming home, quiet and cozy to your simple home on the prarie with an ipod or whatever. Modernize that prarie home if you will. 
You take off your coat and set your feet up and WHAM! a pot gets set down in a most ugly fashion. Next thing you know a snarling wolverine woman appears infront of you, posing as your prenant wife. But could it be? NO. She was glowing earlier today. This isn't your wife. It must have ate your wife! and now its yelling at you. 
Its like a game of hot at cold. The more comfortable you seem in that chair the more she yells. drop the feet to the floor and stand up and wolverine woman backs down and festers to the kitchen again to bang some pots.
What was that yelling you think? What did I do wrong? 
 First off. Realize  that even if it isn't your fault, its just easier to take the blame for a while. It will pass whatever it is and you can prove your "rightness" at some other time.
Next, do not proceed to try to negotiate or fix the problem. Obviously it is too late and any denial will only make any arguement continue on longer than you want.
Please, get out of your chair, go after your wife, sit down and say nothing at this point. Just sit. Your presence in the room is enough. A woman in essence is able to complete an argument almost fully all on her own.
There will be some key points that you may have to grit through just because she pregnant and probably out of her mind because of the hormones. Otherwise this would be a fair fight. 
She'll bring up the problem, then the problem of last week. She may then continue onto that problem that you thought was settled from the last fight but obviously she's and her fierce hormones have been festering on it all this time. 
Next you'll be brought to the part of the wreckage that may include anything from failures in your marriage to how you love your mom more than her and how having a baby is all going to be on her shoulders.
Trust me when I say...just let this phase in the arguement pass. You don't have to agree with her. You just have to keep looking her way and don't loose eye contact. If it helps you may want to jump on the table at some point and act larger than her by stretching out your shirt. I've heard that is how to deal with a mountain lion. Whatever you do, don't run. They only run after you. And although pregnant they are very quick.

In the end she'll give up in a frenzy and cry and then is your chance to quickly step in and offer a hug. Remember that if a hug is not taken or pushed away you'll need to wait another moment until the cookie has fully crumbled. Then move in for the save. And Voila. You've survived the attack of the hormones. 
Put your feet up. You've worked hard.

1 comment: